Been very busy while Jeff was away to Grand Manan.I cleaned the house from top to bottom Saturday and stay inside.Outside was cold.I wasn’t going anywhere.Lately,any cold, I feel like I’m freezing to death. I think my little visitor is coming, unfortunatelyGawd,what a disappointment!!!!!It will be my first period after my loss.Had some signs for the last week of PMS and a little show last night.Gawd, I hope its not a bad one like the last one I had 2005. The pain and agony.I was kinda hoping maybe something miraculous would happen to me.Yeah,right!I have to face the fact that there are no more cnances and there is no more hope or miracles for this gal!NEVER!

Making my Pregnancy and Infant Loss ribbons for the Walk to Remember Halifax on the October 18th.Looks like we will have a big show at the event. I can’t believe the day will be here.October is soon be here.My birthday is next week and all I want is a baby.I don’t want any flowers,chocolates or dinner out without Elaina,though it would be nice LOL!I truly want ANOTHER try!I know Jeff will disagree 100% with that.He has no part of trying or thinking about it what so ever!

Jeff got home last night at 6 with souvenirs from Grand Manan.He bought Elaina a stuffed lobster and a lobster trap made of wood.Jeff bought me a logo to put on my jacket and the most best and amazing gift was a Angel sitting close to a little boy playing. I cried and hugged him so much! He knew it would be a big hit for me. He told me he saw it ,and knew it was the appropriate gift.

This morning, Elaina was laying on the couch with me and she was jumping on my stomach and I told her be careful that I had a sore belly. She said to me,”Is there a baby in there?”.I told her there was no baby in my belly. She replied back with,”You lost your baby.”I told her yes and the baby is in heaven. That was the end of the conversation.I don’t think she will ever forget anything like that right now. It was a sad and upsetting day ,how can she not forget!Poor soul.

Tonight ,heading out to pick up a used stroller for my day care kids. I found it on Kijiji.It was free!Got to love Free!After that, I’m heading out for coffee with a friend from church for a couple hours. I need to get out of the house. Need some mommy time without Elaina.